The Present Moment
by CatherineWinner
Summary: He's sitting at a table with another woman, but he's turned slightly toward her and he's staring at her the same way she's staring at him. She turns swiftly back to the bar and her waiting shot. She reaches for it, downs it in a single swallow and tries to understand why this is happening to her. She wants out. She reaches for her purse to run before stopping herself.


"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life."

- Eckhart Tolle

She sees him and suddenly doesn't know what to do with her hands.

She's an adult, yet in that moment she cannot for the life of her remember what she used to do with her hands in quiet moments. She twitches them, uncomfortably; suddenly aware of each crack and imperfection that age has caused to her.

Kim reaches for her napkin and begins tearing it into tiny pieces, recalling the image of her ex sitting ten feet from her. A man she hasn't seen in years, a man…. she stops, a man who cut his hair.

She clamps her eyes closed and forces herself to take a breath. He cut his hair, his hair was gone, and the boy she loved and lost was gone, replaced with a man who was as different as she was.

He's sitting at a table with another woman, but he's turned slightly toward her and he's staring at her the same way she's staring at him.

She turns swiftly back to the bar and her waiting shot. She reaches for it, downs it in a single swallow and tries to understand why this is happening to her.

She feels her face burn, her heartbeat rapidly in her chest, and the sweat building against her skin.

She wants out. She reaches for her purse to run before stopping herself. She's an adult; she won't run, from him or anyone.

She doesn't need to turn back to know he's still watching her. She can feel his gaze sear her skin.

She wants to know what's going to happen next. Are they going to be fake and forgetful, brief hugs and the 'how have you been' game? Or are they going to have it out, right then and there. Are they going to scream, fight then fuck? She taps her empty shot class against the bar, ordering another as a worse scenario comes to mind. What if they don't do anything, what if she orders another drink, he finishes his and leaves. What if they don't speak and simply vanish out of each other's lives for another 10 years.

The bartender slides her another shot as she debates which scenario would break her, and which she could manage to live through.

She reaches for the second shot before she can make up her mind. She feels the acid of the whisky burn down her throat as she senses someone moving in beside her.

She turns and is face to face with a man she knows nothing about.

Suddenly she's relieved, it's not him, it's not Tommy Oliver. It's not the love of her life, the man she fought beside, it isn't the man she broke and the man whose loss broke her.

He smiles at her, and she's reminded that she's been so consumed with the appearance of her long lost ex that she's now about to get hit on in front of him.

The man starts talking and before she can control herself, Kimberly glances toward her ex, seeing him completely turned in his chair, staring at her and the man who has approached her, his female companion absent.

Their eyes meet briefly and Kim knows the possibility of complete avoidance is gone.

Tommy stands, eyes still locked on her new friend, and walks toward her. Kim's heart beats so fast and loud she's surprised that no one else has turned to her and told her to calm down.

She forces herself to breathe, to control herself as Tommy rests a heavy hand on the other man's shoulders. Within seconds the man has moved away, and her old friend, her old love has replaced him, seated inches away from her.

She looks at him, seeing him completely for the first time. In that moment everything fades away, her anxiety, the noise from the room, everything is gone.

And she smiles.

"Hi,"

She knows he's studying her but he answers with a smile, "Hi,"

She turns back toward the bar, needing some separation, "My car broke down. I was on my way to Jason and Trini's house and-"

"Are you with someone?" He asks firmly, cutting her off despite his soft tone.

She blinks, looks at him then shakes her head. "No, I was alone when my car-"

"No I mean, are you with someone? Are you married, engaged or dating someone right now?" He rephrases, resting one hand on the bar, half way between their seats.

Kim frowns slightly, ran a hand through her hair, "Um no, not for a long time."

She doesn't see him coming toward her, her eyes downcast, but she feels when his arms circle her and his lips fall against her own.

She squirms in surprise and shock, yet surprise and shock fade when excitement and passion build and take over.

She starts to return the kiss as he breaks it off. Pulling back, he keeps one of his arms resting on the side of her chair while the other absently toys with the loose braid resting on her shoulder.

"You broke me once, Kimberly." His eyes are focused on the braid, "I've been searching for someone like you…someone who makes me feel the way you used to."

She opens her mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

"I wish I didn't, but I still love you."

Kim drops her eyes, years of built up guilt and shame consume her and for a brief moment she thinks she may be sick.

"I'm so sorry. I was so wrong…I have no excuse. I-I'm just so sorry."

He seems to only vaguely hear her.

"I'm just here for the weekend. I'll be gone and I won't come-"

His hand finds hers and squeezes it. "If that's what you want I won't hold you back. But if you're leaving for me…you have to know that's never what I want."

The noise from the bar slowly seeps back into her consciousness and she thinks of the woman she saw him with only moments before.

"But you were just with someone. I saw-"

"A friend. Only ever a friend." He answers quickly, leaving no room to second-guess his response.

Kim smiles at him, "How do you know you still want to be with me? It's been years after all…." She falls silent when he presses another kiss to her lips, longer this time. She savors the feeling.

"I've always wanted to be with you, beautiful. Who you are, the core of your personality is what I love about you." He answers easily.

Kim lets herself study him. "I'm not the person I was….I've changed. There are things I need to tell you."

Tommy tangles their fingers together and tugs them to his lips where he places a warm kiss. "There are things I need to tell you, too. But it can wait…. For now, let's get out of here." He slips off the barstool.

"My car-" Kim starts.

"We'll take care of everything in the morning." He helps her move off her stool, throws a bill on the bar and begins leading her toward the door.

Kim watches him, sees as he weaves in-between people, eyes focused and determined, his grip on her tight and comforting.

She tucks her free hand into his arm, curling it closer to her body, knowing suddenly this is what she should be doing with her hands…holding him close to her.


End file.
